My Next “Relationship”
Someone recently asked me, “Alex, you just got OUT of a relationship–why are you already thinking about your next one?”
Because at THIS moment, I am VERY CLEAR on what I DO NOT WANT in a relationship.
When we leave a relationship, there are things that weren’t working–obviously. Emotionally and time-wise, we are closest to that “knowing” right NOW.
What wasn’t working in my relationship:
The love for me was possessive.
The relationship felt draining.
I didn’t feel “free.”
I could go on, but that encapsulates the essence of what didn’t work for me.
The essence of what wasn’t working: lack of F-R-E-E-D-O-M.
Many authors on relationships say that one of the most valuable things we get out of relationships, even the bad ones, ESPECIALLY the “bad” ones, is an understanding of what WE DON’T WANT because it leads us to get really really really CLEAR about what WE DO WANT.
So, here’s what I DO want:
Freedom in Relationship.
Paradoxical, I know.
The immeasurably important question that I need to solve for myself now: what do I mean by “freedom?”
I’ll let OSHO take the lead on this one:
Love Basically Is a State of Being
Freedom IS love.
Anything other than freedom IS NOT LOVE.
So, my next “relationship”… will be love.
How about you?
Are you “free” in your relationship?
Do you help your loved one to be and feel free?
It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship, either!
IN ALL YOUR RELATIONS–ARE YOU FREE?
If not, stop calling it love.
Just be honest and say, “I don’t know how to love.”
That will open up the floodgates to something new.
Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing.
WE ARE ALL PRETENDERS!!!!
I have hardly a clue as to “how” to do this love thing.
But I’m willing to stand in my unknowing, powerfully, and ask the questions.
To reveal my utter inability to truly love another.
I don’t think we have to get “there,” either.
The very act of letting down the pretension that we do know is enough.
Do you get it?
If you did, you would be singing to the mountains right now; you would be dancing in your socks through your kitchen.
That’s REAL COURAGE.
From that place, MAGIC can happen.
The unexpected can happen.
Beauty and love and the unimaginable…
can all happen.