Be a Weirdo
I’ve been struggling lately.
That whole “what am I doing with my life” thing that rears its head not infrequently.
Am I being realistic?
As I put more years under my belt, my perspective has become life is too short to be engaged in stuff that isn’t part of my path.
So, just a few days ago, I decided to quit my financial services career that lasted about 4 years.
It’s interesting. I’ve tried so many ways to make it in this world. But through reflection I can now see that many of these attempts to be “successful” were coming from outside of me.
Fear had driven me to do many things that weren’t me, stemming from an antiquated idea that being successful has to look like “hard work.”
So, gradually, I convinced myself that since I was sacrificing–i.e., putting in my dues–that somehow I would be rewarded for that. As if there is some kind of magical counter that credits us for hard work in-and-for-itself.
Both of my major attempts–real estate investing and financial services–my brother flat out asked me before I started: Bro. Is this something that you really want to do?
Both times I brushed him off real quick, with tons of logical reasons as to why they were great ideas.
Both times… failure.
With a little more hindsight, I can see clearly what happened:
- I didn’t trust myself
- I allowed fear to drive me
- I didn’t trust myself
- I allowed fear to drive me
- I didn’t trust myself…
It becomes a wicked pattern; a feedback loop; a downward spiral.
Anyone who knows me knows that the idea of me doing either financial services or real estate investing is complete NONSENSE in that it’s not aligned with who I am, my gifts or my life purpose.
I’m not saying they were a waste of time. I don’t live life from a place of regrets. They were both part of my path that led me to right now.
And, hopefully, by sharing these experiences with you, I might reach someone reading this who has also been choosing everything BUT their path–and get you to take a hard look at what is motivating your choices.
It’s so important that we don’t allow external forces to dictate what we do in the world. However… this is way harder than it sounds.
But it is possible.
Some of you know that you’re hiding out–and dying on the inside. You might be just “biding your time” until retirement. I know teachers who say things like, “Only 12 more years…”
WTF.
They do not enjoy teaching–and they’re just counting down. Not days, mind you.
Years!
THIS IS NOT HOW WE ARE SUPPOSED TO LIVE.
I know. I used that word I’m not “supposed” to use.
But you know what I mean. We’re not here to countdown years, folks. It’s ridiculous.
And… I know it’s not easy to choose otherwise, especially if we have created a life on top of some of those choices.
It’ s a real conundrum, no doubt.
But for some of you reading this, you haven’t yet sold yourself out. It’s to you (mostly) that I’m speaking.
Though, in truth, it’s never too late for any of us to begin anew.
It’s just that the longer we wait, the more challenging it can be to start over.
Today, I was feeling really angry while reading at my local coffee shop. I needed to let off some steam, so I went outside and started running down a side street.
I got to the end of the block (about 200 yards) in a residential neighborhood, looked both ways, and yelled
“FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK”
at the top of my lungs.
It felt good. Really, really good.
Then, I walked back, and along the way, I remembered that when we feel disconnected, one powerful way to come back to ourselves is to plant our feet on the Earth.
So, that’s what I did. I took off my shoes and socks, and I just stood there, in front of someone’s house
…like a total weirdo.
But who fucking cares?!
My sanity is way more important than what people think of me.
Isn’t yours?
With my feet planted, the grass began to cool my inner fire. It was just for a few minutes, but what a difference it can make!
Think about it: when was the last time your bare feet touched the Earth?
For many of you, it was probably recently. But for some of you… your feet almost never touch the Earth.
It’s so easy to get disconnected.
My suggestion: go outside and try it.
Go outside, barefoot, and let yourself connect to your home.
To yourself.
And I give you permission to scream at the top of your lungs, too.
Trust me. Most people secretly want to.
After all, it’s better to be a weirdo on the outside than to go insane on the inside.
www.alexobed.com