“Top 10” Signs that You’re NOT Ready for a Relationship

A little pompous, perhaps.

I’ll admit it. But I’m going for the jugular. My “Top 10” signs that you’re not ready to be in a relationship.

Drum roll, please…

10. You stalk your ex’s facebook page.

9. Your boundaries resemble a gaseous element.

8. You pounce on anyone who shows even a slight degree of interest in you (i.e., says “hello” or looks at you and smiles).

7. You’re willing to meet up with a complete stranger, at night, and travel in their car somewhere.

6. The very first thing you do upon waking is to reach over and check your Tinder/Okcupid/Bumble/Other dating app for new messages.

5. If someone hasn’t responded to your text within an hour, you freak out and ask them what’s wrong.

4. You curse your Tinder account when it makes you wait 8 whole hours to “like” someone new.

3. Shaving and other grooming has pretty much ceased.

2. It doesn’t bother you to see random food particles lying on the carpet.

1. You swipe right–on everybody.

 

 

 

 

(P.S., ask me how I know.)