Published by admin on November 29, 2016

My Next “Relationship”


Someone recently asked me, “Alex, you just got OUT of a relationship–why are you already thinking about your next one?”

Because at THIS moment, I am VERY CLEAR on what I DO NOT WANT in a relationship.

When we leave a relationship, there are things that weren’t working–obviously. Emotionally and time-wise, we are closest to that “knowing” right NOW.

What wasn’t working in my relationship:

The love for me was possessive.

The relationship felt draining.

I didn’t feel “free.”

I could go on, but that encapsulates the essence of what didn’t work for me.

The essence of what wasn’t working: lack of F-R-E-E-D-O-M.

Many authors on relationships say that one of the most valuable things we get out of relationships, even the bad ones, ESPECIALLY the “bad” ones, is an understanding of what WE DON’T WANT because it leads us to get really really really CLEAR about what WE DO WANT.

So, here’s what I DO want:

Freedom in Relationship.

Paradoxical, I know.

The immeasurably important question that I need to solve for myself now: what do I mean by “freedom?”

I’ll let OSHO take the lead on this one:

Love Basically Is a State of Being

“The real thing is not a relationship but a state; one is not in love but one is love. Whenever I talk about love remember this: I am talking about the state of love. Yes, relationship is perfectly good, but the relationship is going to be false if you have not attained to the state of love. Then the relationship is not only a pretension, it is a dangerous pretension, because it can go on befooling you; it can go on giving you the sense that you know what love is, and you don’t know. Love basically is a state of being; one is not in love, one is love.”
“And that love arises not by falling in love with somebody. That love arises by going in – not by falling but by rising, soaring upwards, higher than you. It is a kind of surpassing. A man is love when his being is silent; it is the song of silence. A buddha is love, a Jesus is love – not in love with a particular person, but simply love. Their very climate is love. It is not addressed to anybody in particular, it is spreading in all directions. Whosoever comes close to a buddha will feel it, will be showered by it, will be bathed in it. And it is unconditionally so.”
“Love makes no conditions, no ifs, no buts. Love never says, “Fulfill these requirements, then I will love you.” Love is like breathing: when it happens you are simply love. It does not matter who comes close to you, the sinner or the saint. Whosoever comes close to you starts feeling the vibe of love, is rejoiced. Love is unconditional giving – but only those are capable of giving who have.”

Freedom IS love.

Anything other than freedom IS NOT LOVE.

So, my next “relationship”… will be love.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

How about you?

Are you “free” in your relationship?

Do you help your loved one to be and feel free?

It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship, either!


If not, stop calling it love.

Just be honest and say, “I don’t know how to love.”

That will open up the floodgates to something new.

Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing.



I have hardly a clue as to “how” to do this love thing.

But I’m willing to stand in my unknowing, powerfully, and ask the questions.

To reveal my utter inability to truly love another.

I don’t think we have to get “there,” either.

The very act of letting down the pretension that we do know is enough.


Do you get it?

If you did, you would be singing to the mountains right now; you would be dancing in your socks through your kitchen.


From that place, MAGIC can happen.

The unexpected can happen.

Beauty and love and the unimaginable…

can all happen.

share me

#commitment#freedom#jealousy#love#monogamy#Osho#self-love#unconditional love
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