Published by admin on June 22, 2016

3 Things You Can Do When You Feel Like Hitting Your Head Against the Wall


Many of you know that I’ve been struggling to come up with new content for my blog, Down-n-Dirty Blog on Relationships, for several months.

My process, from the inception of my blog until now, has looked something like this:

  • I was urged by a friend to start a blog (and spare my friends my rampant, daily musings on fb)
  • Wrote posts for three years, which only a handful of people read
  • Went viral with The New Sexy: Women Over 40
  • Freaked out
  • Wrote a bunch of crap trying to go viral again
  • Failed
  • Started writing again, but from a place of vulnerability
  • Moved to Florida to focus on creating a career as a Writer
  • Hit a major roadblock, with little inspiration to create

That takes us to the present–literally about fifteen minutes ago. I was driving around in Ft. Lauderdale and said, Siri–coffeeshops. The list on my phone went like this: Starbucks, Starbucks, Starbucks… Grind Coffee Project.

It was hard to find at first. I was led to this collaborative work space, but the doors were all locked. I peered into the tinted windows, and someone finally came out and told me that the coffeeshop was at the end of the road, about 300 feet down.

I got back in my car, drove a bit and saw a warehouse with a coffee sign outside. When I went in, I saw this:


I wasn’t immediately sure if this was my spot. In fact, I hesitated before committing to stay (insert laugh here). I spoke with one of the baristas, Abby, and then met the owner, Yoni Martin. He told me that this was a temporary location until the collaborative work space up the road was complete (hopefully, in six weeks).

There may not have been many customers, and the furniture wasn’t exceedingly inviting, but both of them were warm and friendly; and sometimes that’s way more important than a comfy chair and ambience.

I had only ordered a La Croix (due to having already consumed a homemade latte with breakfast–and wanting to avoid looking like an epileptic junkie), but Yoni pulls out some samples and begins telling me about his coffee. And, boy, did this guy know his stuff!


He roasts his coffee under the label, Egghead Coffee, and his employees make a living wage (didn’t ask what), with all tips going to charity.

First stop on the sample train was the cold-brewed coffee.
A light, balanced roast with a hot bloom and a 24 hr. brewing process. The coffee had a natural note of fruits and flowers (these are his words, but I totally agree), and I didn’t have to drown it with sugar and cream to make it taste good–and this is coming from a sugarholic!
The next stop was “True” Coffee-flavored Ice Cream, as he called it.  Made with the cherries (that’s how coffee grows–as cherries) and the flowers. Lavender sugar and sweet cream.
The ice-cream was unbelievably delicious. Not too sweet. It could easily have been called, Ice-Cream for Coffee Addicts or Divine Coffee Nectar of the Gods.
So, I’m sitting down, checking social media and thinking about writing, when in walks a beautiful woman, who makes her way to my table (truth: there was exactly one table, so it’s possible that she wasn’t actually flirting with me).

As she was ordering, I heard her tell Yoni that she’s an internet marketing strategist. My ears perked up. I’m always on the lookout for people who can help me become a financially solvent writer.

We start talking, and I tell her about my blog. She talked about how Gary Vaynerchuk is a master at repurposing old material.

And then it hit me. My writer’s block. Maybe instead of trying to create new content, I should work with what I’ve already got–about 100 posts’ worth of material.

I release a deep sigh that I must have been holding for weeks. (Like ripping that fart you’ve been holding for too long.) Feels so good.

For almost two months, I’ve been banging my head, trying to take advantage of this sweet set-up living with my brother, only to produce next to nothing.

Don’t you hate it when you keep repeating the same life lessons over and over and over?

I do.

I know where some of this comes from. Working hard is in my DNA. I grew up in a family of hard-workers, and my brother continues that tradition. I started to compare myself; if I wasn’t producing, then I must be lazy. And that brought on the guilt. And the guilt led me to try to force a result even more. Can you see how this cycle ends in failure?

  • More gray hair
  • Not fun to be around
  • Not fun to be around
  • Not fun to be around

All work and no play… makes Alex an unhappy lad.

So, I am choosing a different path, starting now:

  1. I’ll remind myself that just because I’m not producing doesn’t mean I’m a lazy bastard–and be kinder to myself.

  2. When stressed, I will breathe in, sigh and smile. (Try it. It feels so good!)

  3. I will ask, where am I using force instead of going with the flow and taking the easier route?


(Some of you cringed when I said, easier, didn’t you? Notice that.)

Perhaps there’s a place in your life where you, too, are using too much force–and it’s making you go bonkers?

I invite you to try these 3 steps out.

And if for some reason they don’t work out for you… just get yourself some true coffee ice-cream at Grind Coffee Project–and tell someone who cares.  😉






#breathe#coffee#comparison#family#ice-cream#lazy#relax#smile#stress#success#synchronicity#viral#writer's block#writing
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