The Opportunity of Heartbreak
Bouts of depression.
This shit sucks.
My first ever long-term committed relationship.
Almost 2 1/2 years.
Why have I been such a veritable wreck?
And then it hit me:
I can rebuild from the ground up.
There is a brand new space in my life.
Yes, there is emptiness.
And until this moment, I saw that emptiness as a problem.
To be filled with almost every imaginable filler-upper.
But now that space feels different.
I feel a freedom to create my life all over again.
I have started a morning ritual consisting of meditation, stretching and gratitude.
I am stronger than I’ve been in a long, long time, as I’ve been working out and exercising regularly.
I’m getting back to eating cleaner after the post-relationship lull of not having someone to cook for/with.
Sure, my life is not where I want it to be.
I’m still staying up too late, not being as productive as I could be, yata yata yata.
it’s a process, right?
I’m taking this thing one step at a time.
And that feels way more healthy and stable than going to extremes.
So, we shall see.
It’s a new beginning.
The opportunity is to be the person that I was when I was in my relationship, with the feeling of love in my heart and exuding joy, but as a single guy.
I was on a chatline recently when someone said that they were looking for a man that has “sunshine inside of him.”
I like that idea.
I am not worried about attracting the right person for me.
I am fully aware that it will happen when I’m ready.
But right now is a time to build me.
From the ground up.
And that excites me.